do you want to stay married?

Monday, June 12, 2006


Go ahead, groan.

Okay, done? Great.

We have been married almost six years. I don't expect flowers anymore. In fact, given your track record, I expect nothing .

Which makes a romantic suprise very powerful. Imagine this...

You never ever get anything in bed but straight missionary, maybe once a month. (I know, this isn't your reality, because I'm a girl who loves me some freaky hot sex, but bear with me.)

Now imagine, one random wednesday night, after the kids are asleep, I do that kinky thing you like (in case you forgot, check your browser history for the porn sites you frequent,) and then I pull off your pants and service you orally until I swallow, without any need on my part for reciprocation.

Pretty powerful image, I'd say.

So this would be my equivalent.

You call me on your way home from work to tell me to get in the shower and pack an overnight bag. You say you've already packed the kids for a sleepover at Grandma's, which you've arranged in advance. You come home and get the kids, stopping long enough to give me a gift of some sexy underwear which you picked out because it turns you on, in the correct size (which you know because you had the forethought to check the tags on my existing undies.) You take the kids to Grandma's and call me from the road and tell me to meet you someplace we've never been for a romantic meal. Then you take me to a nice hotel, and proceed to make love to me the way I like, appreciating my body and verbally admiring how I look, smell and feel. You know how it is.

You don't ask me to do the kinky thing, but I will probably do it anyway because I am so turned on. . You say sweet things to me while I go to sleep.

This alone would be enough to keep me satisfied for months and months. However, if you really were to go all the way, this would be a good finish...

You wake me up the next morning for one more round of seriously good sex, and tell me to go back to sleep, and order breakfast from room service when I wake up. Then you go home and straighten up the house. Maybe drop the mountain of laundry off at the cleaners, for a one-time treat of having washed and folded. You come back and eat breakfast with me. This whole time you have not picked up a book or played online poker in my presence. We get to go home and watch movies together because you arranged to have the kids at grandma's for two days.

Something like that would keep me on cloud nine for YEARS. If something like this happened maybe once a year, I would be inclined to overlook many of the little things that bug me about you, like your addictions to online poker and porn and your laziness in home-improvement matters.

Here's the thing:

While this is a nice fantasy, and I would love this type of treatment immensely, it would be totally unecessary if I just got from you the message that you are in love with me enough to think about me during your day, to give me little suprises every once in a while and to call me from work. To know I am important enough to be on your mind while we're apart is worth way more than jewelry or flowers.

If this happened more, I would want to give you that kinky blowjob. OFTEN.

Next: Speaking of Sex...


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