do you want to stay married?

Monday, June 12, 2006

So, my marriage is dying...

And I know why. I'm just not that interested anymore. I'm sure it's my fault, everything is. But he's changed, too. I want him to fix it. But, when I ask him to do something specific to, say, be more romantic, it kind of takes the thrill out of it. Plus, if he does it, then stops, it makes me feel that much worse.

So, in an attempt to get the universe to steer him in the direction that I need him to go, without such a low blow to my ego, I am going to put what I need from my man here. Maybe it will get back to him or maybe he will spontaneously change. Maybe this will help some other guy salvage his marriage. Or maybe it will just sit, all alone on the big bad internet while my marriage crumbles.

I don't know what I'm doing. But I know what men (my man) could be doing to make their marriage last, protect their interest in their children and not have to watch their wife leave for the first guy who comes along and makes her feel beautiful.


Blogger Dr. Sun Si Miao said...

I am a man, and my marriage is dying too. Tell him how you feel. He wants to hear it. He wants you to love him. He wants you to try to be romantic too. Don't wait. Love him if you love him.

7:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm posting to Dr. Sun Si Miao.

Thank you for your comment, my marriage is failing as well. I've taken our 1 year old son and went to visit my parents - he only calls to talk to him. I've started telling myself that I won't call to start talking and I'm sure he's telling himself.

Your advice has given me a second wind and I'll give it a try and call him and talk. Thank you again.

12:48 AM  
Blogger les.waydick said...

It's all her fault!!!!. Well maybe not all her fault, maybe its the both of us. She never bothers about how I feel and I guess that if she's not botheresd then why should I.We both say we will make an extra effort ,but we just talk a good story and do exactly JACK about it.
It's not a money thing we are not wealthy but we are not potless infact I'd sooner do overtime than sit in here and have another row. Anyway it,s my daughters 6th birthday today and I think she's beutifull (I WOULD)So time to play happy family ,

12:14 AM  
Blogger Nancy said...

So i met my guy a decade ago and now we met again a year ago and got married, its been a year that the marriage has survived but it just doesnt seem like what we felt first. Am i the only one feeling this so soon in mariage or is it a true fact for all. I love him more then my self and so does he but their never seems to be a moment of peace and happiness.
how does one overcome this???

2:26 PM  
Blogger AZ said...

well I have been married for 4 years, but started seeing our problems from year one. in fact saw them while we were dating and engaged. since we had a long distance relationship, I figured that it would work as soon as we are together. he loves me more then I could have ever imagined and he was perfect on paper. but now all that love is annoying and meaningless. I tried hard to make sure he knows whats on my mind and what makes me happy. given that I had left everything I knew, 3 thousand miles behind, I figured he wants to keep me happy here and help me make a home out of it. I struggled for 3 years to do all I can to make it work and NADA. till I told him its over and I'm leaving. not more then a week later he gets drunk and gets violent. that's when I went back home and had an affair and worse than that I thought I was in love. within a month convinced him to see a marriage counselor with me but it is not working. I can not for my life get back to my married mind set. before I had my affair I had my mind set that this was over, and after it happened it got set in my heart.
I'm trying very hard to convince myself to get in a married mindset but it'snot working....

3:42 PM  

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